Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Books
Some chapters close themselves... others open themselves. Whether it's the book of life, or the book in your hand, embrace every word, feeling, and idea. Love the essence of being. Embrace the natural order. The inter-relatedness of it all is God's gift.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Black Swan
Not the movie.
An event that, although rare and seemingly unpredictable, has massive consequences on those people or things effected.
Example: A turkey, fed heartily for 1000 days, living a happy and healthy life, knows from the past days that his life is wonderful.
Day 1001 comes; it happens to be Thanksgiving. He is slaughtered and placed on the family table.
Could he have predicted it would happen? Probably not. In fact, at the time his life was in the gravest danger, he may have been the fattest and happiest he ever was.
Life consists FREQUENTLY of these so-called "Black Swans". Difficult to predict, they can change the course of your path when least expected.
It doesn't have to be an instance of something occuring that is a Black Swan - it may be something expected to occur that does not happen. Each can have a profound effect on life.
When one of these comes your way, embrace it. At the core is change. You never know when it will happen, or to what degree it will impact you. It's important to take a Black Swan in stride, and make the absolute best of the situation.
Who knows... If you play your cards right, you may be on a better path than you could have ever imagined.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Whatever You Do, Do Something.
Don't become stagnant.
Complacency, apathy, boredom... they're rough. They kill the human spirit. They're antithesis to anything and everything about being human; life, creativity, connectedness, beauty.
Ensure growth. Primarily of yourself, and then, of others. Or perhaps others teach you more about yourself... Either way, cultivate and foster development.
Floating through life is a surefire way to premature death.
Whatever you do, make sure you're doing something. Anything.
Take a different route to work. Star gaze for hours. Befriend that stranger on the subway you sit next to everyday. Smile. Write a poem. Drink a cup of exotic tea. Build something. Give yourself a wedgie. Sprint for 25 feet. Buy a pair of socks. Read. Dance to a song from a friend's iPod. Blow a bubble out of hand soap. Plant a tree. Kiss somebody for 1 minute without letting go. Ding Dong Ditch someone. Break a light bulb. Spit a seed off the top of a building. Cross your eyes. Take a picture of the most boring thing around you. Skip stairs.
Do something just to do it.
Love it.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
letting go
http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/
i just read this article, "from A to Zen" and i think it offers some wonderful wisdom and great reminders. it is so easy for life to overwhelm us with activities, emotions, work and relationships that it can be difficult to center yourself, to refocus your energy, to build inner strength and peace. we all seek a life of fulfillment, but many times we compensate for a lack of personal fulfillment with physical possessions instead of focusing on healing our emotional well-being. these "zen habits" can help remind us what's important, and just might help improve our quality of life in the process.
"in trying to hold on to what’s familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. a moment can’t possibly radiate fully when you’re suffocating it in fear. when you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. that’s why letting go is so important: letting go is letting happiness in."
a few of my favorite takeaways:
Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.
Practice letting things be. That doesn’t mean you can’t actively work to create a different tomorrow. It just means you make peace with the moment as it is, without worrying that something’s wrong with you or your life, and then operate from a place of acceptance.
Release the need to know. Life entails uncertainty, no matter how strong your intention. Obsessing about tomorrow wastes your life because there will always be a tomorrow on the horizon. There are no guarantees about how it will play out. Just know it hinges on how well you live today.
Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
Xie Xie. It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments—love with abandon; be so passionate it’s contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember: it will teach you something, and soon enough you’ll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.
just a few simple ways to try and live better :)
i just read this article, "from A to Zen" and i think it offers some wonderful wisdom and great reminders. it is so easy for life to overwhelm us with activities, emotions, work and relationships that it can be difficult to center yourself, to refocus your energy, to build inner strength and peace. we all seek a life of fulfillment, but many times we compensate for a lack of personal fulfillment with physical possessions instead of focusing on healing our emotional well-being. these "zen habits" can help remind us what's important, and just might help improve our quality of life in the process.
"in trying to hold on to what’s familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. a moment can’t possibly radiate fully when you’re suffocating it in fear. when you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. that’s why letting go is so important: letting go is letting happiness in."
a few of my favorite takeaways:
Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.
Practice letting things be. That doesn’t mean you can’t actively work to create a different tomorrow. It just means you make peace with the moment as it is, without worrying that something’s wrong with you or your life, and then operate from a place of acceptance.
Release the need to know. Life entails uncertainty, no matter how strong your intention. Obsessing about tomorrow wastes your life because there will always be a tomorrow on the horizon. There are no guarantees about how it will play out. Just know it hinges on how well you live today.
Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
Xie Xie. It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments—love with abandon; be so passionate it’s contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember: it will teach you something, and soon enough you’ll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.
just a few simple ways to try and live better :)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
make new friends, but keep the old
we have childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends...people from all different stages of life. the interesting thing i've been contemplating lately is how unlikely it is that each of these friend groups have experienced the same "you." it's likely that you've kept relationships with people you've met in different phases as part of your life today, but you are almost certainly a different person at 25 than you were at 5 or even 15.
old friends are cherished, new friends are made. people change, as do relationship dynamics. lately i've been more acutely aware of how my personal role changes depending on who i am around and the phase of my life in which we met. my wonderful friends from high school know all my secrets. they guided me and hung by me through the awkward mid-teen years. these people have a special place in my heart and are dear friends still today. my college friends helped me break out of my shell. they supported and reinforced the woman i was becoming and they are still very close to my heart. but when i met all of them, i wasn't who i am today. i was still evolving, still changing.
i'd like to think today i am closer to realizing myself, closer to being the me that is most true to my essence - someone who's comfortable with what she believes, what she knows, what she wants out of life. but with this perpetual change comes challenge. that challenge is a desire for continual growth while maintaining important relationships with people from growing up - with those who witnessed the awkwardness of adolescence, those who know my history...although my role in those relationships may no longer fit with who i've become.
they say that "you don't have to change friends if you understand that friends change." assertion of independence, personal life experiences, self-actualization...these things can change people and change relationships. awareness of this fact is imperative to the survival of any long-term relationship. personally, i think it's our job to continue to grow and change throughout our lives; but it's also our job to understand that others are undergoing the same transformation. sharing the experiences we each have as we change is one way to bridge the growing gap between old friends, keep the relationship strong and to no doubt learn from one another in the process.
what i want more than anything is be able to continue to push my own boundaries, to view life through different sets of lenses, but also to maintain a connection to my past. or as my mom would say, "remember your roots as you spread your wings." she's been saying that as long as i can remember. i shouldn't be surprised that 29 years later, mom still has the answer :)
old friends are cherished, new friends are made. people change, as do relationship dynamics. lately i've been more acutely aware of how my personal role changes depending on who i am around and the phase of my life in which we met. my wonderful friends from high school know all my secrets. they guided me and hung by me through the awkward mid-teen years. these people have a special place in my heart and are dear friends still today. my college friends helped me break out of my shell. they supported and reinforced the woman i was becoming and they are still very close to my heart. but when i met all of them, i wasn't who i am today. i was still evolving, still changing.
i'd like to think today i am closer to realizing myself, closer to being the me that is most true to my essence - someone who's comfortable with what she believes, what she knows, what she wants out of life. but with this perpetual change comes challenge. that challenge is a desire for continual growth while maintaining important relationships with people from growing up - with those who witnessed the awkwardness of adolescence, those who know my history...although my role in those relationships may no longer fit with who i've become.
they say that "you don't have to change friends if you understand that friends change." assertion of independence, personal life experiences, self-actualization...these things can change people and change relationships. awareness of this fact is imperative to the survival of any long-term relationship. personally, i think it's our job to continue to grow and change throughout our lives; but it's also our job to understand that others are undergoing the same transformation. sharing the experiences we each have as we change is one way to bridge the growing gap between old friends, keep the relationship strong and to no doubt learn from one another in the process.
what i want more than anything is be able to continue to push my own boundaries, to view life through different sets of lenses, but also to maintain a connection to my past. or as my mom would say, "remember your roots as you spread your wings." she's been saying that as long as i can remember. i shouldn't be surprised that 29 years later, mom still has the answer :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
It's simple.
Memory recall:
The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
honesty: it's just better.
most people are afraid to ask honest questions or give honest answers, some are afraid to be honest with themselves. and while i understand the truth isn't always the easiest thing, i believe it is the mark of true character, and always the best option.
i recently encountered a situation where knowing the truth earlier would have saved me a lot of time and heartache, and it gave me a new-found appreciation for honesty. i'm hoping others can learn what not to do from my experience.
long-term relationships are difficult to end, and i can appreciate wanting to make it as clean and swift a break as possible once it's over. in this particular case, we'd spent 2 years together and our relationship was strong. at least i thought so. we didn't fight, we had a great time together, we laughed often, we were very close. so when he told me one july night that he thought we needed to break up, i was completely blindsided, and i wondered for months what had happened. he gave no explanation. he just said he didn't didn't know why, that i didn't deserve this, that he was sorry, and then he walked away. i did my best to stay busy and move on, but there was always part of me that endlessly wondered and needed an answer. we were happy...so why did he walk away?
the answer i'd been waiting for finally came - via facebook, of course. i saw he was listed in a new relationship...with one of his good friends from college. a girl i had gotten to know quite well while we dated. i was never suspicious at the time. i never had any reason not to trust him. but looking back on how everything went down at the end of our relationship, it makes total sense. he just couldn't bring himself to tell me about her. he had been up to visit her over the weekend, and the next week he acted very strangely, picking fights and being distant. then the following, week he ended it.
my point isn't that i was blindsided or heartbroken, or even that he's now found happiness with someone else. i understand that it doesn't always work out, and that relationships are a two-way street you can't always control. my point instead is that he chose not to be honest with me about why he was ending it. he didn't have the decency to tell me he was confused, or that he had feelings for someone else. instead he took the easy way out, possibly believing he was saving me the pain of knowing the truth, and he just walked away.
after 6 months of wondering, as soon as i saw him listed in that relationship, i put the pieces together regarding what really happened, and i could finally close that door. all i needed was the truth. and i wish that after all the time we spent together he would have given me the tiny, decent gift of honesty. sure, it would have sucked. yes, i would have cried. yes, i would have been angry. but it sucked nonetheless, and my sadness probably carried on longer than necessary because i spent so much time wondering. if i would have known about the situation earlier, it would have made moving on so much easier. and if anything, he owed me that.
after all of it though, i'm finally free. that chapter is concluded. the point is just this: suck it up and tell the truth. if not for you, then out of respect for those around you. sure, it's not easy in the moment, but guess what? life isn't always easy. and your character is determined by how you act in difficult situations. loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness...these aren't easy traits to obtain. by confronting the tough situations, that's where your moral fiber is developed and put to the test. in the end, the truth is the only path. if it's going to hurt, it's still better to be up front. if we owe anything to this existence, it's honesty.
i recently encountered a situation where knowing the truth earlier would have saved me a lot of time and heartache, and it gave me a new-found appreciation for honesty. i'm hoping others can learn what not to do from my experience.
long-term relationships are difficult to end, and i can appreciate wanting to make it as clean and swift a break as possible once it's over. in this particular case, we'd spent 2 years together and our relationship was strong. at least i thought so. we didn't fight, we had a great time together, we laughed often, we were very close. so when he told me one july night that he thought we needed to break up, i was completely blindsided, and i wondered for months what had happened. he gave no explanation. he just said he didn't didn't know why, that i didn't deserve this, that he was sorry, and then he walked away. i did my best to stay busy and move on, but there was always part of me that endlessly wondered and needed an answer. we were happy...so why did he walk away?
the answer i'd been waiting for finally came - via facebook, of course. i saw he was listed in a new relationship...with one of his good friends from college. a girl i had gotten to know quite well while we dated. i was never suspicious at the time. i never had any reason not to trust him. but looking back on how everything went down at the end of our relationship, it makes total sense. he just couldn't bring himself to tell me about her. he had been up to visit her over the weekend, and the next week he acted very strangely, picking fights and being distant. then the following, week he ended it.
my point isn't that i was blindsided or heartbroken, or even that he's now found happiness with someone else. i understand that it doesn't always work out, and that relationships are a two-way street you can't always control. my point instead is that he chose not to be honest with me about why he was ending it. he didn't have the decency to tell me he was confused, or that he had feelings for someone else. instead he took the easy way out, possibly believing he was saving me the pain of knowing the truth, and he just walked away.
after 6 months of wondering, as soon as i saw him listed in that relationship, i put the pieces together regarding what really happened, and i could finally close that door. all i needed was the truth. and i wish that after all the time we spent together he would have given me the tiny, decent gift of honesty. sure, it would have sucked. yes, i would have cried. yes, i would have been angry. but it sucked nonetheless, and my sadness probably carried on longer than necessary because i spent so much time wondering. if i would have known about the situation earlier, it would have made moving on so much easier. and if anything, he owed me that.
after all of it though, i'm finally free. that chapter is concluded. the point is just this: suck it up and tell the truth. if not for you, then out of respect for those around you. sure, it's not easy in the moment, but guess what? life isn't always easy. and your character is determined by how you act in difficult situations. loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness...these aren't easy traits to obtain. by confronting the tough situations, that's where your moral fiber is developed and put to the test. in the end, the truth is the only path. if it's going to hurt, it's still better to be up front. if we owe anything to this existence, it's honesty.
Monday, January 17, 2011
if you need some inspiration....
...here's something for you to contemplate.
everyone has bad days. everyone second guesses their decisions occasionally. everyone gets down. but if you ever truly wonder why you are here, if you battle depression, if you find yourself really struggling, just remember: of all the possibilities for life at your inception, you were the one who made it. this may seem like a strange analogy, but honestly, talk about perseverance! the creation of a life is not an easy task...but for some reason, YOU were the outcome. there is no one else exactly like you anywhere on the planet, there never has been, and there never will be again.
so when you struggle, when you fall, when you fail, when you question....just remember that you are a survivor, and you have been since the beginning. whatever your circumstances, it's nothing you can't handle...because there's a fighter within you.
so make the most of this opportunity called life!
the zygote from whence you came would expect nothing less :)
everyone has bad days. everyone second guesses their decisions occasionally. everyone gets down. but if you ever truly wonder why you are here, if you battle depression, if you find yourself really struggling, just remember: of all the possibilities for life at your inception, you were the one who made it. this may seem like a strange analogy, but honestly, talk about perseverance! the creation of a life is not an easy task...but for some reason, YOU were the outcome. there is no one else exactly like you anywhere on the planet, there never has been, and there never will be again.
so when you struggle, when you fall, when you fail, when you question....just remember that you are a survivor, and you have been since the beginning. whatever your circumstances, it's nothing you can't handle...because there's a fighter within you.
so make the most of this opportunity called life!
the zygote from whence you came would expect nothing less :)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
reflection
vacations are wonderful. they allow time for self-examination. time to slow down, listen to your heart and contemplate what's important. time for reflecting about what you really want out of life, and how you can make it happen.
my most recent vacation was no different. for me, something has shifted.
since graduating from college, i've played it rather safe. my life is comfortable. i have what i need: a wonderful network of friends and family, a steady job, food in my fridge, a roof over my head. most would say my life is a good one...and i wouldn't disagree. but something is missing. i am happy, but i want more...nay, i need more.
i need to be challenged. i need new surroundings. i need to be uncomfortable. i need to feel fear. i need to face the fear. i need to fail. i need to learn. i need to grow. i need to conquer.
when we settle into a routine, it's easy to fall victim to complacency and comfort. the problem is that it's also easy to stop challenging yourself, and to halt in the tracks of your potential. when you have been given just one chance to be the only you that will ever exist, it is tragic not to give your all to this life.
so please. do not waste your unlimited potential. contemplate your end of days and reflect upon what you hope will be your life's legacy. think about it NOW. do something about it NOW....so that when the end approaches, you are content in having served your purpose. no regrets.
two closing quotes from a recent book i read:
"such a simple concept, yet so true: that which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves."
"to live every day as if it had been stolen from death, that is how i would like to live. to feel the joy of life. to separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. to say i am alive, i am wonderful, i am. i am. that is something to aspire to."
my most recent vacation was no different. for me, something has shifted.
since graduating from college, i've played it rather safe. my life is comfortable. i have what i need: a wonderful network of friends and family, a steady job, food in my fridge, a roof over my head. most would say my life is a good one...and i wouldn't disagree. but something is missing. i am happy, but i want more...nay, i need more.
i need to be challenged. i need new surroundings. i need to be uncomfortable. i need to feel fear. i need to face the fear. i need to fail. i need to learn. i need to grow. i need to conquer.
when we settle into a routine, it's easy to fall victim to complacency and comfort. the problem is that it's also easy to stop challenging yourself, and to halt in the tracks of your potential. when you have been given just one chance to be the only you that will ever exist, it is tragic not to give your all to this life.
so please. do not waste your unlimited potential. contemplate your end of days and reflect upon what you hope will be your life's legacy. think about it NOW. do something about it NOW....so that when the end approaches, you are content in having served your purpose. no regrets.
two closing quotes from a recent book i read:
"such a simple concept, yet so true: that which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves."
"to live every day as if it had been stolen from death, that is how i would like to live. to feel the joy of life. to separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. to say i am alive, i am wonderful, i am. i am. that is something to aspire to."
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