we have childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends...people from all different stages of life. the interesting thing i've been contemplating lately is how unlikely it is that each of these friend groups have experienced the same "you." it's likely that you've kept relationships with people you've met in different phases as part of your life today, but you are almost certainly a different person at 25 than you were at 5 or even 15.
old friends are cherished, new friends are made. people change, as do relationship dynamics. lately i've been more acutely aware of how my personal role changes depending on who i am around and the phase of my life in which we met. my wonderful friends from high school know all my secrets. they guided me and hung by me through the awkward mid-teen years. these people have a special place in my heart and are dear friends still today. my college friends helped me break out of my shell. they supported and reinforced the woman i was becoming and they are still very close to my heart. but when i met all of them, i wasn't who i am today. i was still evolving, still changing.
i'd like to think today i am closer to realizing myself, closer to being the me that is most true to my essence - someone who's comfortable with what she believes, what she knows, what she wants out of life. but with this perpetual change comes challenge. that challenge is a desire for continual growth while maintaining important relationships with people from growing up - with those who witnessed the awkwardness of adolescence, those who know my history...although my role in those relationships may no longer fit with who i've become.
they say that "you don't have to change friends if you understand that friends change." assertion of independence, personal life experiences, self-actualization...these things can change people and change relationships. awareness of this fact is imperative to the survival of any long-term relationship. personally, i think it's our job to continue to grow and change throughout our lives; but it's also our job to understand that others are undergoing the same transformation. sharing the experiences we each have as we change is one way to bridge the growing gap between old friends, keep the relationship strong and to no doubt learn from one another in the process.
what i want more than anything is be able to continue to push my own boundaries, to view life through different sets of lenses, but also to maintain a connection to my past. or as my mom would say, "remember your roots as you spread your wings." she's been saying that as long as i can remember. i shouldn't be surprised that 29 years later, mom still has the answer :)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
It's simple.
Memory recall:
The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.
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